125 Musicians Predict the 2024 NFL Season

Are you ready for some football? With summer on its way out and back to school here, it also means that the NFL season is upon us. Once again, we’ve enlisted our panel of musicians who weighed in on how their favorite team will fare in 2024. As usual, some of our respondents are overly optimistic about their team’s chances, while others brace for another season at the bottom of the standings (it varies from person to person).

This year, many folks are ready to put their money down on a Kansas City Chiefs three-peat (along with a 14-3 regular season record that popped up a bunch of times by hopeful Chiefs fans). Would you take their advice? That’s up to you, but that said, dig in and see how these musicians think the 2024 football season will shake out.

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Tim Commerford, 7d7d/Rage Against the Machine

Denver Broncos

Tim Commerford (Credit: Anna Lindahl)

The Denver Broncos will be good. They are young talented and hungry. Bo Nix is perfect for Sean Payton’s offense, he’s fast, smart and accurate and has huge hands just like I do. Most NCAA starts ever with 61. 77% completions no fumbles! Two solid backup QBs. D line looks better, as do linebackers and secondary/Patrick Surtain. The O-line is solid and we have a nice core of running backs, letting go of Samaje Perine proves that. Receivers are all big tall targets just like coach Payton likes ’em, letting go of Tim Patrick proves that. We have a gang of tight ends on the roster. Hopefully, Dulcich stays healthy. I’m saying we go 10-7 with playoff birth, ending the drought and re-establishing the Denver Broncos as one of the greatest franchises in NFL history.

Bun B

Houston Texans

Bun B at a Texans game. (Credit: Bob Levey/Getty Images)

The Texans are the team that everybody’s watching. From the hiring of DeMeco Ryans to the savvy drafting of both C.J. Stroud and Will Anderson Jr, the right moves have been made. Add in top tackle Laremy Tunsil and the acquisition of Stefon Diggs and we have a team that’s truly ready to compete.

Patrick Carney, The Black Keys

Cleveland Browns

Patrick Carney of Black Keys (Credit: Courtesy of Patrick Carney)

The Browns have such a tough schedule this year. Considering how many injuries they had last year and still managed 11 wins, I think if the team can stay healthy, they may win the AFC North. I’m gonna predict 11-6 again this year.

DMC, Run-DMC

Pittsburgh Steelers

DMC wearing a Steelers cap from Jerome Bettis (Credit: Courtesy of DMC)

I think Pittsburgh will have another winning season. They have to eliminate mistakes. Learn immediately from the mistakes that are made. And we have to make it through the playoffs. We want the championship and Super Bowl!

Kerry King, Slayer

Las Vegas Raiders

Kerry King at Allegiant Stadium (Credit: Courtesy of Kerry King)

I think the only way they’ll make the playoffs is if they get a Wild Card because I don’t see anyone unseating the Kansas City Chiefs.  And that’s going to be based on whoever is quarterback, and if the offensive line can keep him on his feet.  If they can, then we have a chance to win some games.  If they cannot keep him on his feet, we’ve got a chance to lose some games.  I’m going to make a pre-season prediction today…Gardner Minshew.  I think he’s got the edge on experience and I think probably gives us the best chance. It’s about him staying on his feet.  He can’t keep the defenders from tackling him if the offensive line isn’t cooperating.  

I think on the upside, if they keep everybody healthy, we can win 10-11 games, that’s very optimistic. We face Kansas City twice a year, and we’ve had some success against them, but that’s very difficult.  On the downside, we win five or six games, and I would base that mostly on injury.  

Melissa Etheridge

Kansas City Chiefs

(Credit: @melissa_etheridge/Instagram)

Three-peat! Three-peat! Three-peat! 

Kane Brown

Baltimore Ravens

Kane Brown (Credit: Rich Polk/Getty Images for On Location)

I think the Ravens could have it but I know my boy Mahomes is always going to give them a run for their money.

Bret Michaels, Poison

Pittsburgh Steelers

Jay Glazer, T.J. Watt, Bret Michaels (Credit: Courtesy of Bret Michaels)

In my humble opinion, and after recently spending time with Mike Tomlin and Jay Glazer And all the great players, coaching staff and Mike’s son musician, Mason Tomlin, at the Steelers training camp and of course Dino’s Bar and Grill after practice. I felt very confident that even though there has been some big changes in Pittsburgh. Coach Tomlin will bring that winning.

Unbroken Warrior spirit competitiveness and the will to win. To the 2024 Steelers and although there’s gonna be a few bumps in the road early which is to be expected with any big changes it’s inevitable they will kick ass and find the winning Steelers chemistry, it will come down to the execution and the players.

They have the willpower to get it done on the offense, the defense, and the special teams!!! But inevitably you’ve got to take all the skill, the thrills and the will, and the big personalities of all the players together in an orchestrated vision and that is to find a way to (focus on finishing win) and as always, you’ve got to believe to receive, and I always believe in the Steelers from birth winning the AFC. And as a Pennsylvania guy, also for the Eagles to kick ass in the NFC!!! 

As always, I am truly fired up for Opening Day kickoff!!! 

Butch Vig, Garbage

Green Bay Packers

(Credit: Courtesy of Butch Vig)

The Packers had a dismal start in 2023, but with the youngest team in the NFL, they went 7-3 down the stretch and became the first No. 7 seed to win a playoff game be destroying the second-seeded Dallas Cowboys in the Wild Card round, and they were a few plays from going to the NFC Championship game in the 24-21 loss to the 49ers. Jordan Love at QB is the guy, they have lots of offensive weapons, and with a new defensive coordinator, the Pack have good reason to be optimistic about 2024. The Lions will be the team to beat in the NFC North, and the Bears look to be much improved. But I think the Pack will get in the playoffs as a Wild Card with an 11-6 record, and make it to the NFC Championship game. Go Pack Go!

Zach Lind, Jimmy Eat World

Arizona Cardinals

Zach Lind of Jimmy Eat World (Credit: Courtesy of Zach Lind)

I expect the Cardinals offense to be significantly better with the fully healthy Kyler Murray and the addition of Marvin Harrison Jr., but the defense remains a huge question mark. They just don’t have a defensive front that warrants hopes of playoff success. My prediction is they’ll go 8-9.

Pharoahe Monch

New York Giants

Pharoahe Monch (Credit: Courtesy of Pharoahe Monch)

Prediction is 5-12.

Simply put, we allowed our rivals the Philadelphia Eagles to secure their running game by signing our best player Saquon Barkley. Leaving the already challenged Daniel Jones who’s returning from an injured season with little to no options on offense.

Robby Hauldren, Louis The Child

Chicago Bears

Robby Hauldren of Louis the Child (Credit: Courtesy of the artist)

DAAAA BEARS! I can’t believe I’m saying it but this year we might have a really good…offense? Our defense came into its own towards the end of last season and we picked up a lot of offensive weapons for Caleb Williams, so as long as he gets his footing I think we’ll have a pretty good year. I’m not trying to get my hopes up too crazy so I’m gonna go with 9-8 and a home win over the Packers. 

Ryan Cabrera

Dallas Cowboys

Ryan Cabrera (Credit: Gabe Ginsberg/Getty Images)

It’s gonna be an interesting year as always. I think we can at least win the Wild Card, but we kinda all just pray from there. The record is going to be 12-5.

Robert Ortiz, Escape the Fate

San Francisco 49ers

Robert Ortiz and his father (Credit: Courtesy of Robert Ortiz)

I’m a 49ers fan. I am not a Cowboys fan. Therefore, I suffer no fanatical delusion.  The 49ers will once again be one of the top teams in the NFL. They will be in the playoffs again. they will likely go to the NFC Championship if not the Super Bowl again.  However, winning those championships is incredibly difficult. They will likely lose in the Super Bowl to the Kansas City Chiefs yet again. 

Samantha Gongol, Marian Hill

Philadelphia Eagles

Marian Hill (Credit: Courtesy of the artist)

Being a Philadelphia sports fan is like being in a toxic relationship. No matter how many times they disappoint you, you always come back for more. Because you love them. I’m predicting 13-4. Of course will miss Kelce, but excited to see Saquon on the team. We’ve seen greatness from Hurts before, and I have faith he’ll find his footing again. Fly eagles fly baby.

Soup, Jurassic 5/Fullee Love

Dallas Cowboys

(Credit: Courtesy of Soup)

If we win 10 games, I’d be surprised!  I think this is Dak’s last season with us, as well as he should look for other opportunities. Jerry has totally destroyed this team inside of football-related matters on the field, I’ve never wanted to see someone disappear more than Jerry Jones. Dallas is DONE!!  

Joey Santiago, Pixies

New York Jets

Joey Santiago (Credit: Courtesy of Joey Santiago)

I’m excited and feeling optimistic about the Jets’ season. Aaron Rodgers’s return should elevate the offense, and with the improved offensive line (newly acquired Tyron Smith; Vera-Tucker back from Achilles injury), we’re looking at better protection and keeping him healthy. Defensively, the Jets were already strong last year, so getting Rodgers back could make a big difference. I believe Garrett Wilson is poised to surpass his impressive numbers from last season. Also, keep an eye on their backfield tandem of Breece Hall and Braelon Allen. The fourth round pick had an impressive camp and could make a significant impact. If the team stays healthy, I’m predicting they’ll secure at least 11 wins and take the AFC East title.

J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS!!! Super Bowl baby!! You heard it here first!!!!

David Lovering, Pixies

New England Patriots

David Lovering of Pixies (Credit: Courtesy of David Lovering)

The New England Patriots have a new recipe they concocted. The ingredients are a new head coach, Jerod Mayo, who is replacing the venerable Bill Belichick.
Two new QBs, Jacoby Brissett and Drake Maye. As to which who will start I’m not sure. Familiar faces complete the dish. Hopefully, this new chapter will prove fruitful. Regardless, as a lifelong Patriots fan, I’ve had an amazing journey with all their Super Bowl and division wins. My wishful prediction for their 2024 season: 10-7.

Matt Quinn, Mt. Joy

Philadelphia Eagles

Matt Quinn of Mt. Joy (Credit: Alana Swaringen)

Every year, around July I start drinking the Kool-Aid no matter what the roster looks like, but I DO love this team. The offense has some questions along the offensive line, but is going to be electric at the skill positions. Defense is the real question mark and was terrible last year, but Jalen Carter looks like he could be special. I predict the season works out just well enough for us to get our hearts broken, but it’s gonna be a magical run. The Eagles go 12-5 and lose to the Lions in the NFC Championship on a suspiciously bad call that brings Detroit its most joy since…forever.

Rhett Miller, Old 97’s

Dallas Cowboys

Rhett Miller of Old 97’s (Credit: Courtesy of Rhett Miller)

Being a fan of the Dallas Cowboys during the Jerry Jones era is a nightmare. His idea of success seems to depend more on the value of the franchise than the outcome of the games or the quality of the product on the field. When is Jerry the owner going to fire Jerry the GM? 

Until that day I can’t see this season ending in anything better than a first-round playoff exit, and even that might be hard to come by with all the offseason subtractions. The addition of Dalvin Cook doesn’t excite me much either sadly. And Zeke? Sheesh. 

At least we have CeeDee Lamb who is a bona fide superstar. And Micah Parsons, who is also a superstar I guess? He didn’t show it much down the stretch last year. 

With the Houston Texans coming on so strong just down the highway, it might be time for me to adopt an AFC team to root for also. I recognize that even that minor joking observation could cost me the better part of my hometown fan base. Go Cowboys?

Jim Suptic, The Get Up Kids

Kansas City Chiefs

Jim Suptic of the Get Up Kids (Credit: Courtesy of Jim Suptic)

I have been a Chiefs fan my entire life. I have watched the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, but the lows made the highs all that much sweeter. My prediction for the 2024 NFL season, the Chiefs go 14-3 in the regular season, become the first team to win three Super Bowls in a row, Patrick Mahomes will become the official GOAT, and Taylor and Travis get engaged. Let the hate begin!

Benny Horowitz, The Gaslight Anthem

New York Giants

Benny Horowitz (Credit: Courtesy of Benny Horowitz)

Let’s start with a positive, the defense should be excellent.  3 impact players on the line, consistent linebacking and what i predict will be first time pro-bowler Deonte Banks. Now, gotta be real, scoring points will be a problem and by midseason we will be looking to tank for a QB in the 2025 draft and Malik Nabers will publicly be taking shots at Daniel Jones.  The defense will carry a few low scoring games to the Giants 7-10 final record, no playoffs.

Paul Cauthen

Dallas Cowboys

Paul Cauthen (Credit: Jimmy Fontaine)

Cowboys are my team. If our team would stop praising players for stats and get back to winning we might pull it off. Dak has to make big plays against tough teams. Jerry needs to get out of the kitchen and we need the best player to play.Stop paying the stat guys and play the winners, the clutch players!  Remember the ’90s??? Is this the curse of Jimmy Johnson?? How many Super Bowls we could have, should have, would have had?? No clue. All I do know is you can’t get the star out of my heart. I’m just sick of this team breaking my heart. It’s time. Let’s go boys. Do it for Jimmy Johnson. 

RC Edwards (Turnpike Troubadours)

Kansas City Chiefs

Turnpike Troubadours (Credit: David McClister)

Coming off a “rebuilding“ year that saw them win their second straight Super Bowl, this might be the most talented offense weapons Patrick Mahomes has ever had around him.
Couple that with a young top 5 defense, Creed Humphrey dominating at center, and the Chiefs have a potential 3- peat well within their sights.

Randall King

Kansas City Chiefs

Randall King (Credit: Keith Matchett)

BACK TO BACK…TO BACK CHAMPS. The Pat Mahomes MVP again – led Chiefs win three in a row! Hollywood Brown gets a massive resurgence in his career. Kelce hits 20 TDs. Pacheco hits 1,200 yards rushing. And the chiefs make absolute HISTORY.

Joey Belladonna, Anthrax

Minnesota Vikings

Joey Belladonna (Credit: Courtesy of Joey Belladonna)

13-4.

Tim and Phil Hanseroth, The Hanseroth Twins/Brandi Carlile

Seattle Seahawks

Tim and Phil Hanseroth (Credit: Courtesy of Tim and Phil Hanseroth)

The Seahawks will amaze the NFL under new head coach and defensive guru Mike Macdonald, and his new offensive coordinator Ryan Grubb. We have too many offensive weapons and a surprise waiting on the defensive side of the ball. 13-4: Seahawks win the division and the conference, and we’ll see you in New Orleans for the Super Bowl!

Shannon Larkin, Godsmack

Las Vegas Raiders

After another unbearably long offseason, it’s football time again! Even in the pre-season games I still get butterflies as I put on my colors (Silver and Black!), crack open a cold beer (in my case a Stella N/A;), and plant myself on the couch for some action.

We at Raider Nation are super stoked with HC Antonio Pierce and his back to the classic Raider attitude as well as the moves that were made in the draft and trades. The D was beastly last year and with new blood in the secondary (and Tommy Eichenberg at linebacker from Ohio State) it will be even more aggressive this year. As far as the O, we still have the best receiver in the league, beefed up the line, and got a great tight end in Brock Bowers who will hopefully help open up the long ball and give Adams a little more space. Of course, we all know where the mystery lies…QB. We saw what Aiden could do and got Minshew to battle for the starting job. They seem to be all about the team in this competition and I’m sure Pierce will choose our best guy. But is either one the one? The dude that can make us champions? I’m not sure, and it’s the one position that gives me doubt (and the most important position at that!). Hopefully, one of them will rise and be great!

I believe we will win 10 games this year, but with our division will still have to limp into the playoffs. Either way, I feel we’ll do better than last year with this monster defense as it’s proven that defense wins Super Bowls. Go D! Go Raiders!

Ant, Atmosphere

Minnesota Vikings

Ant of Atmosphere (Credit: Enkrypt)

Unfortunately, if the Vikings go 8-9, I’d be surprised. It’s the NFL though so there is always a chance for something good to happen.

Alex Gaskarth, All Time Low

Baltimore Ravens

All Time Low (Credit: Nick Stafford)

For the last few seasons the Ravens have been knocking on the door of a championship. They’ve got a two-time MVP quarterback, a young, revamped offense built around Lamar, with weapons like Andrews, Flowers and now Derrick Henry in the mix, and a defense eager to prove itself under a new coordinator. Injuries at key positions and critical mistakes in huge games have prevented the Ravens from taking it all the way the last few years, but take those issues off the table, finish out the big games, and they’re more than capable of winning it all this year.

Joey Bruce and Nathan Young, Anberlin

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Nate and Josh of Anberlin (Credit: Courtesy of the artist)

Baker made it clear last season that he is a franchise quarterback and can lead this team into the playoffs. He showed that when he led the Browns to their first postseason win since 1999. He has all the weapons, he has a Hall of Fame wide receiver in Mike Evans, and a potential Hall of Famer in Chris Godwin. The running game will be the key with the focus being on Rashaad White. If we can find that balance between the run and pass game, and not put all the weight on Baker to air it out, we will not only win the NFC South, we will make a Super Bowl run. There is no way you can discount Antoine Winfield Jr. he is, without doubt, the best DB in the NFL at this point. His father had to be losing his mind with how incredible and iconic his son has become in the Tampa Bay Area. He reminds everyone of the 2001-2003 Bucs when our defense was absolutely unstoppable.

Jill Sobule

Denver Broncos

Jill Sobule (Credit: Courtesy of Jill Sobule)

Well…the Broncos have been horrific since we won the Super Bowl in 2016. We’ve had a bevy of bad quarterbacks, bad general managers (including John Elway), and bad ownership. It didn’t help that we forfeited our future for Russell Wilson. Yet, as the season nears, I’m actually sort of excited. It’s kind of a rebuild year. I have low expectations. So any win will be a blessing. I say they win five or six games. Here I am performing in my 1978 Bronco Orange Crush tee shirt. It still fits.

Sam Price and Jordan Greenwald, lovelytheband

Los Angeles Rams

Sam Price and Jordan Greenwald of lovelytheband (Credit: Courtesy of the artist)

As Rams fans, we’re sad we don’t have the GOAT Aaron Donald anymore, but we trust in Sean McVay to make one hell of a team with our key pieces!! In Puka we trust. 17-0 baby!!! RAMS HOUSE.

David Cook

Kansas City Chiefs

Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes and David Cook (Credit: Bill Althaus/The Examiner)

KC’s quest for a three-peat starts with a brutal three-game stretch. I’m hoping they can get out of that at 2-1, which would then set the table for them to chase the top seed with a manageable stretch in their Nov./Dec. schedule.

I’ll say 12-5, garnering a 1 or 2 seed in the playoffs. And then, they hit their stride at the right time, and pull off three Lombardis in a row. History made.

Michael Marcagi

Cincinnati Bengals

Michael Marcagi (Credit: Courtesy of Michael Marcagi)

The Bengals are winning the Super Bowl. Joe Burrow’s first healthy training camp and Tee Higgins on a contract year is a dangerous situation. Joe and Ja’Marr Chase will be back in New Orleans lifting another championship trophy this year. Who Dey!

Chris Wollard, Hot Water Music

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Chris Wollard of Hot Water Music (Credit: Courtesy of Chris Wollard)

The Bucs should be looking at another solid season in the NFC South. O-line has been addressed and I love the direction the offense is going in general. Big Mike gets another 1,000 yard season, and I think Baker gets 3,500. The run game will look better with this O-line as well.

On defense, we look strong and sharp up the middle. But we do have some question marks on that side. OLB, ILB, and CB will be tested.

Best case scenario: Playoffs as NFC South champs. Worst case scenario: Still better than the stinkin’ Panthers.

D Smoke

Los Angeles Rams

D Smoke at the Forum (Credit: Thomas Cauley)

My prediction is that the Rams will go 11-6 this season.

Shane Told, Silverstein

Dallas Cowboys

Shane Told of Silverstein (Credit: Courtesy of Shane Told)

Here we go again!  Expectations are high but I just don’t see the Cowboys going past the first round.  I think they will go 10-7 and have yet another first-round exit.  I hope I’m wrong (I usually am so this MIGHT be why I’m predicting this).

Andy Biersack, Black Veil Brides

Cincinnati Bengals

Andy Biersack (Courtesy of Andy Biersack)

Super Bowl. I’ve never predicted that ever, and truthfully I feel insane saying it but I’ve decided to start a new era in my lifelong Bengals fandom of just being ridiculous and hopelessly positive. WHO DEY!

Rome Ramirez, Sublime With Rome

Chicago Bears

Rome Ramirez (Credit: Courtesy of Rome Ramirez)

Caleb Williams will fire up the Bears’ offense with the passing attack. By utilizing wide receivers D.J. Moore and Keenan Allen, the Bears will establish a top 5 offense and have a really good chance of making the playoffs! Bear Down!

Worth Weaver, alltheprettythings

Carolina Panthers

(Credit: Courtesy of Worth Weaver)

I think the Panthers will have a difficult year considering the issues and performance from last season.  Bryce Young has shown improvement in camp, but even with the help of new offensive additions; there will still be a lot of uncertainty.

I think we will probably win 5-6 games, but you never know with the Cardiac Cats.  Here’s to Dave Canales steering Young and crew past last year’s 2-15 season towards a stronger culture and sense of composure.

Emily Nenni

San Francisco 49ers

Emily Nenni (Credit: Neonjackrabbit)

12-5 is my guess for the season! It is Super Bowl or bust. The 49ers roster is loaded with superstars and they still have Brock Purdy on a rookie contract, so their window to win is now. If they can only beat Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs – he’s too dang good! 

Marc LaBelle, Dirty Honey

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

(Credit: Courtesy of Marc LaBelle)

I have high hopes for this season. I think the Bucs will definitely be making the playoffs again this year as the rest of the NFC south isn’t looking all that strong. I’d expect the Bucs to win the division as we watch Baker Mayfield have a career year throwing to Mike Evans so he can tie Jerry Rice’s record of 11 straight seasons with over 1,000 yards receiving. I wouldn’t be surprised to see the Bucs wind up in the NFC Championship Game this year with a regular season record of 12-5.

Brandon Yeagley, Crobot

Kansas City Chiefs

Brandon Yeagley (Credit: Courtesy of Brandon Yeagley)

As a musician and die-hard Kansas City Chiefs fan, I’m thrilled about the electrifying performances our team is set to deliver this season, both on the field and in the stands. With Mahomes’ incredible playmaking skills and the team’s robust defensive lineup, we can expect some unforgettable games. Just like a killer guitar solo, the Chiefs’ relentless drive for another Super Bowl win promises to keep us all on the edge of our seats, craving more.

Ronny Tibbs

Detroit Lions

Ronny Tibbs (Credit: Courtesy of Ronny Tibbs)

After Detroit’s last season and hosting the draft in the city this year with record-breaking attendance numbers it feels like the nation is getting behind what Detroiters have known for the last few years. We have the best coach in the league and one of the most selfless teams in the NFL. One pride. I predict the Detroit Lions go 13-4 and win the Super Bowl.

Chrissy Costanza, Against the Current

New York Giants

Chrissy Costanza (Credit: Courtesy of Chrissy Costanza)

It’s been a rough decade or so as a Giants fan but I’m hopeful that bluer skies are on the horizon! I’m going to predict 10-7 in the regular season. 

Scotty McCreery

New England Patriots

Scotty McCreery (Credit: Courtesy of Scotty McCreery)

The New England Patriots are probably gonna be a .500 team this year, and maybe squeeze in a playoff spot. Jacoby Brissett should have a good year and no one is talking about him right now. They should be.

Yesseh Furaha-Ali, Snacktime

Philadelphia Eagles

Snacktime (Credit: Anna Downs)

Like the past few seasons, I think our team has a legit chance of making it to the Super Bowl and taking home the crown. With the addition of Saquon (Barkley), some great draft picks, and some refining on both sides of the ball, this team is looking stronger than ever. I predict another deep run for the crown this year.

Record prediction: 9-8 (at worst) 13-4 (at best).

Steve Gorman, The Bag Men/Trigger Hippy

Tennessee Titans

(Credit: Ethan Miller/Getty Images)

Will Levis will make the leap, and The Tennessee Titans will grind their way to a 10-7 season with visions of near-future sugar plums dancing in their heads. 

Serengeti

Chicago Bears

(Credit: Courtesy of Serengeti)

This has to be the most anticipated Bears season in modern history. I think the hype is real, and the Super Bowl window is open. Caleb being the first ROY and MVP since Jim Brown is open. Three 1,000-yard WRs is open. Having the No. 1 defense in the league is open. Random linemen or fullbacks starring in local dealership ads is open. But most importantly the dynasty window is open for a Chicago team. Now because the Bears are still the Bears this whole season might feel like we are one monumental disaster away from heading back to Palookaville. But I don’t see that happening. 13-4 and the Bears take the NFC North.

Chris Housman

Philadelphia Eagles

Chris Housman (Credit: Courtesy of Chris Housman)

As if I’ve learned nothing from the disappointment of being a lifelong Philadelphia Eagles fan, I think they’ll win the NFC East with a 12-5 record this year and then lose in the NFC Championship game. GO BIRDS!

Lily Rose

Tennessee Titans

Lily Rose and friend (Credit: Courtesy of Lily Rose)

Between a new head coach and a ton of young talent, I’m hopeful this will be the year that starts moving us towards being a consistent playoff franchise!

Bones Owens

Kansas City Chiefs

Bones Owens (Credit: Courtesy of Bones Owens)

I predict the K.C. Chiefs will go 14-3 this season and win their third consecutive Super Bowl. They don’t have an easy schedule, but with all the new receiving targets for Mahomes and the running intensity of Isiah Pacheco, I think they’ll be hard to beat. Three-peat!!!

Parker Gispert, The Whigs

Tennessee Titans/Atlanta Falcons

Parker Gispert of The Whigs (Credit: Courtesy of Parker Gispert)

My loyalty belongs to the AFC’s Tennessee Titans and the NFC’s Atlanta Falcons.  I feel like the Titans are gonna surprise some folks after replacing Mike Vrabel with Brian Callahan and adding Calvin Ridley and Tony Pollard. The AFC South will be competitive, and we will miss King Henry, but I predict the Titans to go 9-8. As for the Falcons, a talented defense along with the addition of Kirk Cousins paired with Bijan Robinson, Kyle Pitts, and Drake London should be enough firepower to win the NFC South and give Atlanta an 11-6 record.

Brent DeBoer, Dandy Warhols

San Francisco 49ers

Brent DeBoer of Dandy Warhols (Credit: Courtesy of Brent DeBoer)

The Niners will do very well this season. I’m thinking 13-4 hopefully better but the Chiefs and Bills will be aiming for them. Packers will be tough but maybe Purdy will have somehow learned to throw the ball in the snow by then. Seeded at No. 1 going into the playoffs, if they can stay healthy, I don’t see why they can’t win it all.

DSTRCT

Buffalo Bills

DSTRCT (Credit: Nick Rufo)

I’m from L.A. but I’ve always been a Bills fan shamelessly. We lost Stefon (Diggs) so that one hurt, but I’m a firm believer that I’ll get to see the Bills win a Super Bowl in my lifetime so I’m gonna have to take the delusional fan approach. Fuck it, this is our year.

Tony Audia, Michigan Rattlers

Detroit Lions

Michigan Rattlers (Credit: Courtesy of the artist)

The Detroit Lions are one of the hottest teams in the NFC. Closing the 2023-2024 season with a 12-5 record and making it to the NFC Championship Game, they are now the team that is “hunted” and not the “hunter.” During the offseason the Lions have targeted the weaknesses of their secondary defense, ranked at the bottom of the league in 2023-2024. The Lions have added much-needed talent to one of the worst-performing secondary’s of last year. The main pillars of the coaching staff have remained on the team as well. Ben Johnson (offensive coordinator) and Aaron Glenn (defensive coordinator) were scouted and interviewed for other coaching jobs around the league. Both have decided to remain in Detroit. Having continuity between the coaching staff and players will propel this well-oiled machine to another playoff run. Detroit is in a fantastic situation with not many positional weaknesses and many offensive weapons for Ben Johnson to be creative. Their schedule is more difficult than the previous year but this team is gritty and knows how to overcome. Our prediction is the Lions going 11-6 and winning the Super Bowl.

Fred Seddon, ZEBEDEE

New York Giants

Fred Seddon of ZEBEDEE (Credit: Courtesy of the artist)

Giants will go 7-10 but make the playoffs because the NFC East is perennially a dumpster fire. Then the defense will carry them to the Super Bowl, wherein Daniel Jones will be bribed by Taylor Swift to throw the game, and he’ll accept because his contract structure means he’s probably not coming back next year. Business decision.

Jon Shina, All Feels

New England Patriots

Jon Shina (Credit: Courtesy of Jon Shina)

I’m a Patriots fan (please don’t hate me), and growing up in Boston, by default, your loyalty to New England supremacy is mandatory. This fandom stays with you everywhere, no matter where you live. When I lived in NYC during the 2007 undefeated season, I was the only Pats fan in a sea of drunk’n screaming Giants fans when we lost our undefeated season to that garbage “Helmet Catch” by David Tyree and the least talented Manning brother. The chaos of that night was so crazy that I jumped on the subway and retreated to Brooklyn before the city was burned to the ground.

But now, in the aftermath of two decades of Brady and Belichick Dominance, we have been in permanent Cryostasis with a brutal hangover of epic proportions. I predict this season, and many seasons to come, the Patriots will be the dog shit on the bottom of your Nike SBs, and will remain at the bottom of the AFC East this year with a…. let me say…. 0-17 record maybe?

And that’s why I’ve adopted a thorough love for the “Brady and Belichick” of this decade… Mahomes and Reid! I love Mahomes so much, and not even for his playing, but mostly for his Muppety Kenny Powers’ swagger. I’m a Mahomes fan for life, even if that means that all my friends hate me. But, I guess being a lifetime Patriots fan, you are used to everyone hating you.

Phil Jacob, Psychic Lines

Cincinnati Bengals

Phil Jacob (Credit: Courtesy of Phil Jacob)

Burrow’s blonde buzzcut will blind every opposing offense, leading the Bengals to an undefeated season and a Super Bowl victory.

Justin Webb, Justin Webb & the Noise

Tennessee Titans

Justin Webb (Credit: Courtesy of Justin Webb)

I think we’re looking at a 9-8 season with a Wild Card berth. We’re still stupid young, and second-year QB Will Levis has a lot to prove with the new coaching staff.  We’ve got a lot of new exciting weapons like Tony Pollard and Calvin Ridley, and our defense should be improved with additions like Sneed and Sweat. I think the division is the strongest it’s been in a long time, so it’ll be tough. But, we’ve got this —  Titan Up!

EARTHGANG

Atlanta Falcons

Olu of Earthgang (Credit: Courtesy of the artist)

I think we’re going 12-5 and at least to the divisional round in playoffs. – Olu

Doc of Earthgang (Credit: Courtesy of the artist)

I think the Falcons will defeat the Bills in the Super Bowl. KC not going back, it will be a Buffalo vs. Atlanta Super Bowl and the city with the best wings wins” – Doc

Fancy Gap

Carolina Panthers

Fancy Gap (Credit: Jordan Brannock)

As a band, there’s nothing we love more than supporting our home team, the Carolina Panthers. We’re hopeful for a fantastic season this year and excited to see how the Panthers build on past experiences and lessons. We believe they have what it takes to make this season one to remember. Keep pounding!

Patrick Ramos, +/- 

Detroit Lions

Patrick Ramos (Credit: Courtesy of Patrick Ramos)

As a Detroit Lions fan, the last two years have been pretty exciting.  They seem like a team of destiny.  My bold prediction is that they will go 13-4 and all the way to the Super Bowl. Gotta believe! But they’ll lose ‘cause they’re the Lions.

Josh Lesser, Webb Chapel

Philadelphia Eagles

Josh Lesser of Webb Chapel (Credit: Courtesy of Josh Lesser)

I think this Eagles season will look a lot like last year with a strong start and a deeply depressing finish. Since I was a kid, the Eagles have pretty consistently been a heartbreak team in my eyes. I’m gonna predict a 9-8 season and a quick playoff elimination.

Matt Hunter, Dusty Fates

New York Giants

Gerard Smith (bass), Matt Hunter (guitar/vocals), John Houlihan (drums), Jim Santo (guitar) (Credit: Courtesy of the artist)

As a band with many born-and-bred New Yorkers, naturally, someone in the Dusty Fates has something to say about the N.Y. Giants’ upcoming season. 

Sorry if it’s not the most ringing endorsement you’ll ever read. As drummer John Houlihan (also of Risk/Reward) put it: “There’s really not much interesting about this Giants team.” Damn. (Incidentally, John also beat Tiki Barber in the New York Marathon one year, which not many people reading this can boast.)

A friend of the band minced no words: “Dallas will wipe the Meadowlands with the Giants and Micha is gonna plow their O line.” (Can anyone translate that? It sounds bad.)

More from John: “This year, our quarterback is kinda mediocre or “mid” as the kids say on the socials, and we let our running back go to the hated Eagles. You just hope nobody on the team gets killed, or worse, traded to the goddamned Eagles.”

Fighting words! (Don’t listen to him, Philadelphia — we actually like you a lot.)

N.Y. Giants season prediction: 9 wins and 8 losses.

Aaron Frazer

Baltimore Ravens

Aaron Frazer (Credit: Rosie Cohe Photography)

With one of the toughest schedules in the league, and matchups against the Chiefs, Cowboys, Bills, and Bengals to start the season, I think the Ravens will head into Week 6 at an uneasy 3-2. But a seasoned veteran like Coach Harbaugh, a reigning MVP in Lamar Jackson, and a gelling receiver core is the combination a franchise needs to weather the storm, and I think the Ravens will close out the regular season at 11-6. Baltimore will make it to the playoffs despite playing a league-high number of games against 2023 playoff teams, and their slightly weaker seeding will fuel the underdog chip-on-the-shoulder energy in the locker room. We’ll see them make a deep run back to the conference finals, but time will tell if the grueling regular season leaves them with enough in the tank to get over the hump for another shot at the championship.

Spike Slawson, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes

Pittsburgh Steelers

Spike Slawson (Credit: Audra Morse)

The Steelers’ coming season promises to be interesting if nothing else. After consulting with friends who are much better informed than I am (admittedly I’m a fair-weather fan)—they gotta be well into the playoffs and the ambient temperature should be no more than 74 degrees and no less than 68), I have been assured that the Steel Curtain still hangs imposingly at the line of scrimmage at Heinz Field, Browns Stadium (BOOOOO!!!) and beyond. Look deeper into their secondary defensive line, however, and you’ll find more questions than answers, but I guess that’s what keeps us fickle, simpering bystanders glued to the boob tube: “This could be our year!”

Many will enter, only one will emerge victorious. And when Russell Wilson passes the puck to George Pickens and Pittsburgh’s Steelers defy the odds stacked against them to ultimately win the Stanley Cup, I will probably need bail money, as I will be setting fire to the opposing team’s hotel, just like Chuck Noll would have wanted.

Nick Dudek, Night Drive

Minnesota Vikings

Night Drive (Credit: Courtesy of the artist)

Despite some key losses and uncertainty on the offensive side of the ball, l believe Sam Darnold will be QB1 to start the season and will be surprisingly serviceable under the tutelage of Kevin O’Connell. With that said, the Vikings will only go 9-8 at best and miss the playoffs.

Dan Mcnay, miniaturized

Las Vegas Raiders

Dan Mcnay of miniaturized (Credit: Courtesy of Dan Mcnay)

It’s been over 20 years since the Raiders have had a defense this good. That said, I think the NFL pundits have severely underrated the Raiders due to the QB situation. I see a top-10 defense mixed with a smash-mouth run game and a 12-personnel offense, they will be surprising the AFC West. I predict the Raiders go 9-8.

Owen Flanagan, Little Hag

New York Giants

Owen Flanagan of Little Hag (Credit: Courtesy of Owen Flanagan)

The Giants made a lot of good moves this offseason. Should they be better in 2024? Yes. Will they be better? Probably not. 

In all seriousness, I think they will win a few more games this year. Revamping the offensive line, trading for Brian Burns, and drafting Malik Nabers is great roster building. 

It all depends on the QB. I’ll be rooting for Daniel Jones and I think Big Blue’s season hinges on his health…but I don’t have high expectations. It’s YEAR SIX and DJ hasn’t been able to play at a high level or stay healthy. I know he hasn’t had a ton of help, but he hasn’t done much to help himself, either. Maybe Tommy DeVito can play and we’ll get more Sopranos memes. 

The Giants need their version of Jalen Brunson. A guy that comes in and just transforms the franchise. Maybe it’ll be Nabers, maybe it’s Brian Burns, who knows? Whatever the Nova Knicks version of the Giants would look like, I want that. Go Knicks and Go Giants! 

Grant Mullen, Naked Giants

Seattle Seahawks

Grant Mullen of Naked Giants (Credit: Courtesy of Grant Mullen)

I feel great about the Seahawks coming into this season.  With a new coach in the picture, I hope to see new life in the team, and a chance at the playoffs if we can stand up to the Rams and 49ers. My prediction for the season is 10-7. Go Hawks!

Brady Parks, The National Parks

Denver Broncos

Brady Parks of the National Parks (Credit: Courtesy of Brady Parks)

I’m from Denver, grew up a Broncos fan and I’m feeling really good about this season. I’m saying Zach Wilson picks up where he left off at BYU and sets records all over the place. I’m predicting the Broncos will be 15-2 and will be winning that Super Bowl. Can’t wait to see it all unfold! Broncos country…LET’S RIDE.

sullvn

Kansas City Chiefs

sullvn (Credit: Courtesy of sullvn)

It’s bad business to bet against back-to-back defending champions! Chiefs go 14-3 this year – BOOM!

Chris Tsaganeas, Wax Owls

New York Giants

Chris Tsaganeas of Wax Owls (Credit: Courtesy of Chris Tsaganeas)

I think it is going to be another tough year. Our division has gotten better but I think we’re going to make some meaningful improvement on last year, so long as Nabers and Jones stay healthy. I think 9-8 is a reasonable mark to shoot for. 

Andrew Kyne, Grayscale

Philadelphia Eagles

Andrew Kyne (Credit: Courtesy of Andrew Kyne)

Being a Philadelphian, I am always very cautious with my optimism when going into a new season of any sport. We bleed green, but we are realists. I am, however, feeling pretty good about the Birds this season. They made some great moves on both sides of the ball in the offseason, (shoutout Big Pimpin’) most notably acquiring Saquon Barkley. It’s been a while since the Eagles have had a true No. 1 in the backfield and I cannot wait to see him dicing up defenses and taking up a permanent residence in our opponent’s endzone. On the defensive side of the ball, the secondary felt like a weak point last season, but the additions of Quinyon Mitchell and Cooper DeJean are just what we needed. We’re going to be a defensive force. I can’t write this without mentioning the loss of some Birds’ all-time greats. Not having Fletcher Cox and Jason Kelce this year hurts my heart and soul and the team has some big shoes to fill on and off the field, but I think we’ve made the right moves to be set up for the future. We also made some great coaching moves, something that felt like a large problem last year. Offensively, Jalen Hurts is an absolute stud and incredible leader, our receiving core is simply toooo good, Mailata and Johnson are two of the best tackles in the game, Goedert is healthy and a top 5 TE, and let’s not forget the G.O.A.T, Jake Elliott. If we have the right offensive coordinator, and I think Kellen Moore is our guy, our offense is going to be LETHAL. Overall I think the Eagles made some great moves and it’s going to put them in a really good position to win games this year. I have them going 17-0 with a Super Bowl win. (I have them going 12-5 with the hopes of a great playoff run) and I can’t wait for the season to get started. GO BIRDS.

Beau Bedford

Dallas Cowboys

Beau Bedford (Courtesy of the artist)

11-6. There’s lots of magic left in the Micah, Dak, and CeeDee pack, and the Cowboys depth chart looks better than most of the league. Planning on watching the ‘Boys go deep in the postseason with this crew.

Zak Cox, Uncured

New York Jets

Zak Cox (Credit: Courtesy of Zak Cox)

This one is easy. My brother Rex and I were born into a Jets/Mets family, so we are perennial champs of the pre-season. The Jets have the best defense in the NFL and a solid offense with an elite receiving corps. Plus, Aaron Rodgers is returning after missing last year with a ruptured Achilles. We like the Jets’ chances to dominate this year, at least until the 4th snap of the season!!

Dan Moffat, The Collect Pond

Seattle Seahawks

Dan Moffat of the Collect Pond (Credit: Cece Moffat)

I grew up in Bellingham, Wa. and the Seattle Seahawks have always been the only football team for me. Every fall I wish that it will be the year we avenge Super Bowl XLIX — anything less is a disappointment. That said, I don’t think I’ve felt this hopeful in a while. We’ve got a new head coach (Mike Macdonald) who’s sure to fix our defensive struggles. He wreaked havoc on opposing teams’ offense when he was the defensive coordinator for the Baltimore Ravens. Now that we’ve got Sam Howell in the offseason as the new QB2, I’m confident the Hawks can go the distance even if Geno Smith suffers more injuries. We have an elite wide receiver corps, amazing tight ends, and soon-to-be lights-out D. I don’t think Macdonald could figure out the Chiefs when he was a coach in the AFC, so I worry about facing Maholmes in the Big Game. I’m predicting the Seahawks win the championship and lose The Super Bowl in another heartbreaker to the more experienced Chiefs. If we’re not facing the Chiefs on that Sunday, the Seahawks will take it all.

Eric Dash

Philadelphia Eagles

Eric Dash (Credit: Courtesy of Eric Dash)

I think the Eagles are up for a bounce-back season. They started last year on pace with their previous season, but it obviously fell apart with Sirianni’s play-calling and Hurts’ poor decision-making. Another part of their inability to be consistent was the changed coaching staff; they lost their offensive and defensive coordinators.

This year though they have some previous coaching consultants coming back from their 2022 season of glory. Additionally, they’re secondary has been amped and their offense now has Saquon. I think we’ll watch them roll through offenses and make offensive coordinators have to shoot the moon. Only arms like Mahomes’s will be capable of keeping up if the Eagles are as good as they look on paper.

Plus, we have Jeremiah Trotter Jr. now. If that isn’t a good omen, what is?

Bennett Baugus, The Stews

Atlanta Falcons

Bennett Baugass (Bass- Left) and Ollie Baugus (TM – Right) and Mom at a Falcons Game (Credit: Courtesy of the Stews)

The Falcons have had a great offseason, and barring any Falcons-like collapse that we’ve grown so used to, they will win at least one playoff game this year. We are set up with a bright future, lots of young talent, and cheap food at the stadium to keep the fans rowdy and satisfied! Rise Up!

Vince Wilburn Jr.

Chicago Bears

Vince Wilburn Jr. (Credit: Courtesy of Vince Wilburn Jr.)

Bears all the way.

I’m a diehard Chicago Bears fan since I was 5 years old. We have excellent draft selections. We have an excellent quarterback in Caleb Williams with a stellar group of receivers. I predict we take the division. Go Bears!

Matt Walter, The Backfires

San Francisco 49ers

Matt Walter of the Backfires (Credit: Courtesy of Matt Walter)

The 49ers are going all the way, baby! I’ll be realistic and predict a 14-3 regular season, but I think they will be Super Bowl champs. 

Austin Williams

Tennessee Titans

Austin Williams (Credit: Thomas Crabtree)

Growing up right outside of Nashville, I’ve been a HUGE Titans fan! This year is a lot of weight on Will Levis, but I think with that wide receiver room and the improvements to the O line they have a shot to win some big games! So with that being said, I’m guessing somewhere around a 10-7 record this year. TITAN UP!!!!

Mark Miller, Sawyer Brown

Denver Broncos

Sawyer Brown’s Mark Miller (Credit: Courtesy of Mark Miller)

I am a die-hard Denver Broncos fan. With our new rookie QB Bo Nix, I am optimistic and feel we could finish the season 10-7. That should get us into the playoffs!!!

Don Louis

Dallas Cowboys

Don Louis (Credit: Courtesy of Don Louis)

The Cowboys are making it to the Super Bowl! Dak Prescott and the team’s chemistry have been consistent these last couple of years, so I think we’ll have a great playoff run at the very least and he’s got too many weapons on the offensive side to not make him feel more comfortable. With the NFC East being one of the harder divisions, especially with the Eagles matchup, I’m going to predict we’ll have a 13-4 season.

Lakeview

Pittsburgh Steelers

Lakeview (Credit: Courtesy of the band)

Steelers are playoff-bound for sure. Plus, we have T.J. Watt! If the offense doesn’t win it, T.J. Watt will. Also, T.J. – if you’re reading this, let’s hang out?

Amy Jack

Dallas Cowboys

Amy Jack (Credit: Courtesy of Amy Jack)

Dallas Cowboys all the way! My prediction is 12-5.

Becca Bowen

Tennessee Titans

Becca Bowen (Credit: Courtesy of Becca Bowen)

I’m pretty excited for this season because the Titans are coming with a completely new team along with new strategies and ideas for how to win through their new coach Brian Callahan. A huge player expected to make a great impact this season that the Titans acquired in the offseason is L’Jarious Sneed who will really add depth to the defense. Another improvement is our offense with the addition of Calvin Ridley and Tony Pollard. I think the odds may be low of making the playoff this year as the Titans are currently rebuilding and reworking the team to be a force in future years but I am hopeful they will! My guess for the Titans record this season would be 9-8 given the difficulty of the AFC South division this season. 

Jordana Bryant

Philadelphia Eagles

Jordana Bryant (Credit: Courtesy of the artist)

As a Philly native, we’ve been spoiled by the Eagles the past few years. I think even though they are missing Jason Kelce this year they will win 14+ games and head all the way to the Super Bowl and win!! 

Tori Rose

Pittsburgh Steelers

Tori Rose (Credit: Courtesy of Tori Rose)

Growing up in Pennsylvania, my family has always been die-hard Steelers fans. I think they are well overdue to make it all the way this year and we’ll see at least 10 wins!

Mat & Savanna Shaw

Arizona Cardinals

Savanna and Mat Shaw (Credit: Courtesy of the artists)

We feel like the Cardinals are a team that is ascending and we wouldn’t be surprised at all to see them in the playoffs! We are especially excited to see Murray to Harrison Jr. and hope to make it to a game this year.

Paul Howard, Rodeo Mouth

Buffalo Bills

Paul Howard of Rodeo Mouth (Credit: Courtesy of Paul Howard)

I relish the fact that most national talking heads insist the Buffalo Bills Super Bowl window is closed due to many offseason departures (Stefon Diggs, Tre’Davious White, Mitch Morse, Jordan Poyer, etc.). The Bills and Bills Mafia thrive on the underdog mentality, and love when people count us out, unlike a few years ago when everyone (national media) was riding our bandwagon and picking us as favorites to win or go to the Super Bowl. There’s always going to be moving and shaking of the roster, but as long as we have big No. 17 Josh Allen under center, we’ll always be in contention. That said, chalk up a fifth straight division win, a 12-5 record, and a trip to the AFC Championship game against who else but the Kansas City Chiefs. Will we finally defeat Goliath? We’ll find out in January. Go Bills.

Katherine Nagy

Chicago Bears

Katherine Nagy (Credit: Courtesy of Katherine Nagy)

The Chicago Bears will no doubt be very competitive this season, as we’ve welcomed some exciting new offensive prospects in electric rookie quarterback Caleb Williams and wide receiver Rome Odunze, along with free agency additions D’Andre Swift and Keenan Allen. It’s a whole new offense in the Windy City. Our defense is also a force to be reckoned with, plus we have the best fans in the league. So I’m going with 11 wins and division champs! Go Bears!

Ben Landsverk, WONDERLY

Kansas City Chiefs

Ben Landsverk of WONDERLY (Credit: Courtesy of Ben Landsverk)

I predict the Chiefs top the AFC and Will. Go. All. The. Way. Three-peat for the Chiefs. They have great pass protection from veteran players and the new players on the OL.

Wentz is a great backup QB—he’s solid and seems like a great leader. He’s also played for several teams and could have strong insight on how best to defeat them. Ira Smith is a good addition. Marquise Brown is awesome, but he’s so injury-prone that I’m not sure where to put him. Worthy is going to be a star. 

A player to watch this year is Xavier Worthy. No doubt. He opens up the opportunity for Mahomes to throw huge passes downfield, and his running ability will also pull defensive players from being able to cover Kelce, Rice, Brown, and Pacheco. It’ll be epic. I can easily see a record of 12-5, based on the opponents they will face… actually, I need to amend that…Based on Kermitgate, Mahomes will be even more dominant than usual. He will take them through an undefeated season – with trick plays! We will see at least one behind-the-back pass during a regular season game. It will be a Super Bowl win for the Chiefs against the Lions. Detroit will have a great season, and they’ve given KC a few headaches… but the Chiefs will prevail.

Rob49

New Orleans Saints

Rob49 (Credit: Ivan Eremin)

Of course, I’m going with my hometown team, the Saints! And I know they are gonna be UNDEFEATED this season, you crazy if you think otherwise!

Lisa Morales

Houston Texans

Lisa Morales (Credit: Courtesy of Lisa Morales)

I am a Houston Texans fan.  I lived in Houston for years and really look forward to seeing what this team can do to represent H-Town.

I swore them off while they had Deshaun trouble. But that’s a whole other topic and discussion that needs to be addressed.

The Texans looked exciting last season!  We had a young energy—both C.J. Stroud and Collins were exciting to watch!

We’re going to be a good team this year because we won the AFC South last year and we won a playoff game. C.J. Stroud now has a year’s worth of experience and we’ve only improved the team through acquisitions like Danielle Hunter and Stefan Diggs.  

We had a good draft with Kamari Lassiter from Georgia, and we have good depth in all or most of our positions. Go Texans!

Danny Saber, Black Grape

New York Jets

Danny Saber (Credit: Courtesy of Danny Saber)

This is gonna be the Jets year!

Aaron Rodgers is gonna have a Brady-esque resurgence and bring them back to the greatness the guy who wore this jersey got them to and ride off into the sunset!! 12-5, Super Bowl win!!

John Treanor, Tombstones In Their Eyes

Los Angeles Rams

John Treanor of Tombstones In Their Eyes (Credit: Courtesy of John Treanor)

I’m going to predict that the Rams finish with an 11-6 record. They’ve got some great expectations with their running backs. Matthew Stafford and Puka Nacua should keep things interesting.  Should be an excellent season for the Rams.

Lysa Opfer, Aeon Station

New York Giants

Lysa Opfer (in the 21 jersey in the center) and friends (Credit: Courtesy of Lysa Opfer)

I have been entrusted with this question by my brothers-in-arms in the band, and while my lifelong fanaticism of the New York Football Giants came to abrupt end when Colin Kaepernick famously took a knee and exposed the true nature of the NFL organization, I can only offer this historically-based non-statistically-grounded evaluation about how this season will go:

The Giants will win a bunch of games, they will lose the home game to the Eagles, they will win a few more and be 2nd in the NFC East and somehow make it to the playoffs. 

Despite the unfortunate decisions by the NFL, I will always hold the Giants in my heart, and I truly hope they bring home another big super win. A very heartfelt and nostalgic Big Blue forever!

Kevin Naquin, Urban Heat

New Orleans Saints

Kevin Naquin of Urban Heat (Credit: Courtesy of Kevin Naquin)

I think the Saints will struggle this season and be mediocre at best, but this may not be a bad thing.  It could force the front office to make the much-needed changes at head coach and QB to speed up the rebuild. I expect to see rookie QB Spencer Rattler starting by the end of the year. Who Dat!

Ian Fisher

Kansas City Chiefs

Ian Fisher and family (Credit: Courtesy of Ian Fisher)

I was born a Chiefs fan and almost died from being so surprised when they finally started winning championships a few years ago. I’d be less surprised if they went this season, but I’d still be happy as hell. The 2025 Super Bowl is two days after I release my next record, so it’d also be a good time to celebrate.

Reid Cain, Hayley and the Crushers

Denver Broncos

Reid Cain of Hayley and the Crushers (Credit: Courtesy of Reid Cain)

Well, I think we’re in for at least a few more seasons hanging around the bottom of the AFC and missing the playoffs. Without solving the quarterback issues that have plagued the Broncos since King Peyton left, Denver will certainly continue to play in mediocrity until they can see if Bo Nix is good enough to take the reins. Look for some in-season trades as Coach Payton continues to rebuild the team in his image as the better players on the team become disenfranchised with the struggles of the team and demand those trades. Look for them to lead the league in nothing and play out a season of rebuilding into a best case record of 8-9, resulting in a bad draft position and continuing the same cycle they’ve been stuck in for the last few years. Rough time to be a Broncos fan, so I guess GO LIONS!?

Nate Mangold, Jackson Roemers, Fabian Angel, Stratejacket

San Francisco 49ers

Statejacket (Credit: Courtesy of the band)

We think the Niners will have another great season this year despite also believing that their Super Bowl window is closing. We’re hoping we can hang on to Aiyuk especially after his performance last season. Excited for another year of Brock because he seems to be steadily improving with each game and after the experience of the Super Bowl the only thing he hasn’t seen in his career yet is a ring, which is amazing for second year Mr. Irrelevant. We think the 49ers could go 13 – 4 if Aiyuk remains on the team.

Lenny Zenith

New Orleans Saints

Lenny Zenith (Credit: Courtesy of Lenny Zenith)

As a lifelong Saints fans, most of my friends and I are pretty split on how 2024 is going to go. I’m cautiously optimistic, but based on past performances, some of my friends aren’t too hopeful. They kinda worry about the aging roster and if Dennis Allen is the right coach.

The defense definitely gets some love though, and it may be a breakout year for players like Willie Gay and Chase Young. I have some doubts about the offensive line (and coordinator) after talking to a friend, especially with Trevor Penning, who might turn out to be a big draft bust.

Derek Carr is solid but not exactly thrilling. I get the feeling sometimes that he’s not the guy to take the team to the next level, especially with the current coaching setup.

I, for one, definitely miss the days when we knew every player’s name, but now it feels like the roster changes so fast that it’s hard to keep up. My New Orleans friends and I will back the team no matter what, and we always look forward to the ‘near heart attack-inducing’ game ending and we’re bracing for a tough season.

Overall, it’s a mix of measured hope and anxiety – there’s no way to know this early if 2024 will be the year things turn around or not. Geaux Saints and WHO DAT!

Chris Berardo

New York Giants

Chris Berardo (Credit: Courtesy of Chris Berardo)

Many confused pundits and degenerate gamblers have predicted the worst for this year’s Giants squad, with at least one national talking head figuring them for the very worst team in the league, which probably says more about the current state of hyperbolic clickbait sports “journalism” than any actual football assessment, but still if this breaks wrong it could be a tough ride for Big Blue, and the current coaching regime would need to start thinking hard about positions at the Junior College level or maybe something in the event security field.

I think the keys to this campaign will be finally getting a healthy season out of QB Daniel Jones, the revamped offensive line, the addition of Brian Burns on defense, and the hope that the highly touted rookie WR Malik Nabers out of LSU can be explosive enough to make up for the loss of RB Saquon Barkley. The NFC East is always a brutal and unforgiving place, and while I hope that the Giants could eek out a playoff bid, it’s just as likely that they could find themselves shamed and run out of town like cheap carnival hucksters. 

I’ll predict eight wins and enough progress to hope on for 2025 … Go Big Blue!

Greg Downing, Candy Whips

Chicago Bears

Greg Downing of Candy Whips (Credit: Courtesy of Greg Downing)

The prediction of the Bears’ 2024 season is one of hope and promise. Everything relies upon the development of rookie QB Caleb Williams, the overall health of the team (being injury-free), and being able to execute in close games with the time winding down. But I’ll be damned if I said I wasn’t excited about this year. I think this is the year where the frustrations of the past are cast aside and a new era of success is upon us. I’m going to predict 11 wins and a playoff appearance. Bold if you know our history, but I’m a bold individual thank you very much. That would be an awesome season and two of those 11 wins absolutely need to be versus the Green Bay Packers. Enough’s enough, you know what I mean. My family is from Chicago so along with a midwestern bloodline comes a tradition of pain and suffering watching the Bears. Last year was a rough one and this year the Bear’s hopes are tied up with a rookie quarterback, Caleb Williams, who has never taken an NFL snap. Seems foolish, but it’s tradition. BEAR DOWN.

Bear Rinehart

Tennessee Titans

Bear Rinehart (Credit: JM Collective)

I’m a Titans fan. It got pretty hard to watch at the end of the season last year. No idea what to expect with a new coaching staff this year, but excited to see Will Levis step into a season with it being his team. Also love Calvin Ridley coming over (former Alabama man). Eight wins seems like a realistic goal. Titan up.

Penny and Sparrow

Dallas Cowboys

Penny and Sparrow (Credit: Courtesy of the band)

Asking us to make a “prediction” about the Dallas Cowboys season is a bit problematic because “prediction” implies guesswork…

It’s like saying “they MIGHT win this many games”…or….”they COULD go to the playoffs”…

We have no truck with guesswork. We at Penny & Sparrow, LLC deal in facts. This is what we know to be true: 

The Dallas Cowboys will win all their games except one (a nonsense game against the New York Football Giants where penalties and poor special teams play are at fault) and we will also win the Super Bowl.

John Schreffler, Shooter Jennings/Snake Mountain Studio session musician

Detroit Lions

John Schreffler (Credit: Courtesy of John Schreffler)

The Lions fell just short of their first Super Bowl birth ever last year and I look for them to have a season WITHOUT disappointment.  They’ve improved the defense and added much-needed depth. The offense is till the darling of this team and should be even better than last year with the emergence of Jameson Williams and the development of Gibbs and LaPorta. The regular season will be a brutal grind as they are now the hunted rather than the hunters.  They finish 11-6 to win the division and advance ALL of the way to SUPER BOWL LIX where they come out VICTORIOUS over the Kansas City Chiefs.

Max and Ana Haunt, The Haunt

Pittsburgh Steelers

Ana and Max Haunt (Credit: Courtesy of Ana and Max Haunt)

I’ve been a Steelers fan my entire life, but I was 10 years old when they won their last Super Bowl, so as you can imagine, it’s been a bit of a slow decline of hope. Having quarterback play from the outstandingly awful Mitch Tribisky and Kenny Pickett over the past two years, I think our record will improve this year, despite having one of the most difficult schedules in the league. That’s obviously due to the additions of Russell Wilson, and Justin Fields. There’s a decent chance that Russell Wilson’s play isn’t at the level the team would like it to be at, and by about halfway through the season, Justin Fields is starting, but as a fan, I honestly don’t care who starts, as long as it isn’t one of those nightmarishly bad QBs from previous years (not talking about Mason Rudolph, he’s the GOAT and our savior, I’ll never forget him.) With these new QBs, who will hopefully be able to provide us with decent to competent play for the first time in years, and the additions of those such as Patrick Queen and Payton Wilson on defense, I think our record could be somewhere in the 12-5 range this year, and we WILL win at least a single playoff game this year.

Beau Kuther, Smallpools

Seattle Seahawks

Beau Kuther (Credit: Courtesy of Beau Kuther)

A lot of people hate on Geno Smith but I think he’s got the sauce this year with all his offensive weapons healthy to take the Seattle, Seahawks to the playoffs. D.K. Metcalf is a top 10 wide receiver and Walker III and Charbonnet sharing the backfield is strong. Defense is where we’re a little shaky with a new coach but this is a playoff-worthy team for sure! Think they go 10-7 this year.

Chris Crabb and Jay Tibbits, The Strike

Los Angeles Rams

Our favorite team is the L.A. Rams. We are thinking they’ll get second place in the NFC West, with a record of 10-7. Then, they’ll get a wildcard spot with a surprise win in the first round and lose in the second round. “Whose House?!”

David Maemone

Kansas City Chiefs

David Maemone (Credit: Courtesy of David Maemone)

Big Kansas City Chiefs fan. I’m predicting they’ll get 1st place in the AFC West, with a record of 14-3. And the dynasty continues…three-peat here we come!

Chad Williams, Western Addition

Green Bay Packers

Chad Williams of Western Addition (Credit: Courtesy of Chad Williams)

Sorry Detroit, you had your year of NFC North glory, but that’s over. The Pack is back. Jordan Love’s first season as a starter went well enough to net him an absurd payday. Which means expectations have gone from “hopefully not suck” to “deep playoff run or bust” in just a year. I’ll never understand guys wanting that much money instead of leaving the team with funds to invest in a supporting cast. Brady never went for the max payday, and he won 7 rings because of it. Anyway, the offense should be just fine, assuming Jacobs can pick up where Jones left off. As always, it’s the sketchy D that will make or break their season. If the new DC can move them from below-average to even slightly above-average, then these young bucks should have no problem knocking the Lions off and playing until at least late January.

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