Someone Tried to Hide More Than $5 Million Worth of Methamphetamine in Fake Watermelons

If there is one positive thing about drug dealers, it is that they have a certain resourcefulness. If they used it for good purposes, our society would be a lot better off.

They do everything they can to smuggle drugs into the country, including hiding meth in a bunch of fake watermelons.

U.S. Customs and Border Protection agents unloaded a truck traveling from Mexico to the U.S. for an inspection.

They found a lot of watermelons in there, but when they quickly looked inside, they saw that not all of the melons were the real McCoy; some were fake.

How could they spot the fake watermelons? I think it’s because they had seen real watermelons before and the ones with meth in them sure didn’t look real.

Hey, I don’t know what kind of fancy grocery stores you shop at, but I thought all watermelons around the equator were wrapped in paper and tape…

If I were Customs and Border Patrol, I would be extremely offended by this. These drug smugglers really thought the agents would look in, see a bunch of real melons on fake ones, say, “Yeah, those are watermelons,” and then let them in and welcome them and their meth melons into the U.S.

Like I said: insulting.

But insulting or not, they had stolen a ton (actually two tons) of illegal drugs, so a lap of honor was in order.

“I am incredibly proud of our team for their exceptional work over the past few weeks in exposing sophisticated and diverse smuggling methods,” said Rosa E. Hernandez, Port Director for the Port of Otay Mesa. “As drug cartels continue to evolve their smuggling techniques, we will continue to find new and better ways to prevent these dangerous drugs and other contraband from entering the country.”

Good stuff, from the CBP people. But how do they dispose of it?

May I suggest a tribute to the late prop comedian Gallagher and Sledge-O-Matic, who consigned fake melons to oblivion?

Now I would like to see…