From gay porn to homophobic comedy to gay necrophilia to Bupkis

Perhaps that’s where the anxiety comes from: reading articles that discuss his “despicable” and “dirty” past, without mentioning that it was just about some porn videos.

This was followed by modeling work for Calvin Klein and Tommy Hilfinger.

In 1995, at the age of 21, Simon became a VJ, a kind of disc jockey for videos, on MTV. He says this made him a household name, “because I was on TV every day from 3 to 4.” The best time after school.

The VJ job only lasted two years, but it did launch Simon into a film career:

He played “Slab O’ Beef” in Scream if you know what I did on Friday the 13th.

George Logan, a rapper/women’s boxing promoter in Scary movie 3 and 4. He commits suicide by overdosing on Viagra and jumping off a balcony. And gays are gross.

The Promise of National Lampoon This is about college girls’ breasts. Simon plays Derek, who dumps a college girl with breasts when he falls for someone else. One review notes that it portrays lesbians as sexual predators and gay men as easily turned straight by having the right pair of breasts.

I’m beginning to get an idea of ​​the reason for the unrest.

His days of full-frontal nudity far behind him, Simon rarely took his shirt off. Here’s one of the few examples, in Boys toys, 2011.

The title is misleading: it’s not a gay movie. It’s about an unsuccessful but well-endowed underwear model who tries a new career as a gigolo. No, we don’t see his dick.

2020s dick after the break. Warning: graphic.

Red Rocket2021, won a number of awards for Simon’s portrayal of a “cancerous loser,” metaphorically speaking: a washed-up porn star who returns to his small Texas hometown to reunite with his estranged wife, and starts having sex with a 17-year-old girl named Strawberry.

He runs naked through an industrial wasteland in one scene, but he used a prosthetic cock. Despite his gay porn in the past, Simon isn’t quite big enough down there to play a credible porn star.

I have reviewed Down low, 2023, a “painfully humorless black comedy” in which a one-night stand goes horribly wrong, and murderous homosexuals kill for no reason and then have sex. Simon plays Buck, a necrophiliac the boys hire to have sex and then dispose of the first body.

The top photo is from the TV series Boo,2023, Jewish slang for “nothing”. It is an 8-episode semi-fictional story about the life of Pete Davidson. Simon plays “an eccentric jeweler named Crispy.

Is the tattooed dude really famous enough for an 8-episode biopic? Apparently so, since he managed to convince a bunch of his famous friends to guest star: Brad Garrett, Ray Romano, Bobby Cannavale, Jon Stewart, Jane Curtin, John Mulaney and… Al Gore?

Simon may be bi in real life: on Facebook, he writes, “There’s not an ounce of homosexuality in my body — unless you count my boyfriends.” Har har.

If you’re into boys, why do you star in so many homophobic movies, Simon?

A still from one of his early j/o films doesn’t help. I still get that sense of quiet dread at the name “Simon Rex.”