Crime Scene Cleaner is a bloody version of the classic, fun cleaning game

Games like PowerWash Simulator And House Flipper are invitations to relax; they’re all about creating order out of chaos. It’s fun to take a trashed house or a cluttered garage and restore it to its former glory. But what if the stakes were higher? What if instead of getting rid of an old, rusted-out vehicle, I had to haul away dead bodies? What if instead of dirt and grime, I mostly wanted blood and forensic evidence? Crime scene cleaner is a game that tackles these questions bravely, and the answers are oddly satisfying.

In Crime scene cleanerI play a down-on-his-luck janitor named Kovalsky, who has a bunch of financial problems, including a vaguely but tragically ill child. A friend offers a big payday to help him with a big oopsie doodle – he’s killed someone. It turns out that scrubbing crime scenes is a lot more lucrative than scrubbing toilets. There’s also an active mafia in town, so there’s no shortage of work.

Crime scene cleaner sets up some inventive but gruesome scenarios, such as a mass murder in a pizza parlor, complete with a man halfway into the pizza oven. One death in particular had me in fits of unexpected laughter: a young man, murdered while playing a Soulslike, complete with the “YOU DIED” screen on his monitor. How ironic!

Whatever I encounter, I have the tools to clean it up: mops, sponges, a stepladder, a pressure washer, cleaning supplies, and lots of garbage bags. This is where the meditative aspect of the game shines. It doesn’t matter if I’m cleaning up old pizza boxes or the splatter marks left by a body dropped from a great height; either way, my brain is getting the right chemicals. I can also steal from the dead to my heart’s content, sell a little coke, or drop off pretty statues at the pawn shop.

If there is anything I would like to mention the help aspects of Crime scene cleaner were a little more outspoken. When I finish a job, I go back home. I can read a few emails, which usually shed light on the protagonist’s dire financial situation, and pet my dog, but then I have to go to bed. And when I wake up, it’s time for another job. It would be nice to have a little more say in where that money goes, but at the end of the day, I’m just there to transport bodies and wash blood.

Another charming touch is Kovalsky’s constant commentary. The voice acting isn’t very good, but that adds a certain I don’t know what. He has a funny line for every death. When he spots the aforementioned gamer, he quips, “Imagine playing an FPS and ending up with a bullet in your head. Now that’s what I call immersion.” The voice actor always delivers a deadpan delivery, which is funny in its own right, and cuts through the morbid atmosphere of each crime scene.

Crime scene cleaner Originally released on August 14th, I stumbled upon the game while browsing the Steam store. I’m glad I took a chance on this title and bought it without digging into it; cleaning up crime scenes kind of tickles me. It’s just a bonus to be able to stash $100 bills and bricks of cocaine in my in-game pocket.