Look at Cristin Milioti’s eyes

The Five Spot is a weekly Friday roundup where I rank and discuss my five favorite things of the week. Most entries will be about film and TV, but there may also be posts about weird local news or sandwiches I ate or anything else really. The whole thing is exclusive to paying subscribers, so if you want to read the top four entries, you can do so by upgrading…

Here we go.

The temptation with The Penguin, the new Batman-free Batman series that recently debuted on Max, is to focus on Colin Farrell and, well, the Penguin. That’s fair. He’s the star of the show and he plays the main character and he’s buried under about 35 pounds of prosthetics, to the extent that you would have no idea he’s under there if you didn’t know he was going in there. It’s a fascinating situation all around. , taking one of the most handsome and charming people in the world and making him unrecognizable for… reasons, I guess? I really don’t know. It’s like taking a Lexus and going out of your way to make it look like a Ford Taurus. It’s not even that he’s bad in the role. He’s not! He’s really good, which is actually a little annoying, if only because there are only so many big, meaty roles for sweaty New Jersey goons and we can’t just let beautiful Irish scamps take them all. It’s a bad precedent. I guess that’s my point.

But there I go, doing what I said I wasn’t going to do and focusing on the Colin Farrell of it all, when the real story here is Cristin Milioti and her eyes. That’s her at the top of this section, as mafia princess Sofia Falcone stares into someone’s soul with glowing daggers. She does this a lot. We’re only one episode into this loser and she’s already done it maybe six or eight times. It’s usually Farrell’s character she’s doing it with. It’s a wonder the prosthetics don’t immediately melt off his perfectly shaped face. Here’s a look at the moving pieces from a scene later in the episode where she removes an entire clip of distrust with one look.

I want you to know something: If Cristin Milioti ever looks at me like that, I’ll collapse immediately. I will confess everything I’ve ever done. I will confess to things that other people did too. I’ll just keep talking and apologizing until she stops making that face at me. Am I proud of this? No, not special. But it’s important to know your own limitations.

I also want you to know this: Cristin Milioti is amazing. She’s also been great at pretty much everything she’s ever done. She’s incredible here as a wild-eyed psychopath on a Batman-adjacent television show and she was great opposite Andy Samberg making crazy jokes in Palm Springs and she’d probably be great on your show too, assuming you make one, which I choose to believe that you are. Please at least consider it.

So, in conclusion:

  • The Penguin is quite fun and worth a try

  • Please don’t look into my soul with your piercing eyes

  • It’s kind of funny that the two main performances in this show are polar opposites, with one actor burying all his physical attributes under a mountain of makeup and the other using the eyes the Good Lord gave her to say a lot of things that you can. don’t write in a script

The Penguin is a land of contrasts.

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