50 States | jiratickets.com

2024-08-06

This article is inspired by Siddhesh’s Perceptions of Every US State. I thought it would be a fun exercise. The idea is to jot down whatever comes to mind when you think of a particular state — I’ll try to keep things brief!

One big difference between Siddhesh and I is that I was born and raised (and still live) in the American Midwest. This context might be important to helping you understand my perspective as an insider as opposed to an outsider. If you don’t like what I wrote about your home state, or if I’m wrong about something and utterly stupid, I encourage you to harass me on Twitter. Tell me what I should’ve put instead!

You’ll find the 50 states sorted alphabetically below. You can also use these links to jump to a specific state: AL AK AZ AR CA CO CT DE FL GA HI ID IL IN IA KS KY LA ME MD MA MI MN MS MO MT NE NV NH NJ NM NY NC ND OH OK OR PA RI SC SD TN TX UT VT VA WA WV WI WY

Alabama

The Deep South. Montgomery, Birmingham, Auburn, Tuscaloosa.. college football. Spring breakers in Gulf Shores. Important history concerning the Civil Rights Movement. Huntsville climbing higher and higher on the national radar these days.

Alaska

The last frontier. NORTH. COLD. Purchased from Russia back in the day. Population centers include Anchorage and Juneau. Residents pay no income tax and receive a state revenue dividend as a form of UBI. Vast natural resources including timber and oil. Beautiful nature, with bears! Days and nights can last months (in sunshine terms) depending on the season. Top five state flag. Would love to see the Iditarod some day.

Arizona

Sand, red rocks, sunshine, heat, lizards, cacti, tumbleweeds, etc. Famous for the Grand Canyon and rightfully so. Sedona is supposed to be a beautiful city. I’m always surprised when I’m reminded Phoenix is the 5th largest city in the US.

Arkansas

Little Rock. Home to the Waltons and Clintons. Hearing more and more about Arkansas being a nice place to live. Supposed to be some beautiful nature down there at the southern end of the Ozarks.

California

The most populous state for good reason. San Francisco, Los Angeles, San Diego, and ridiculous natural beauty including the Pacific Coast (Highway), Southern California beaches, the Sierra Nevada mountains, the Redwoods and Sequoias, the Mojave desert, Yosemite National Park, and Lake Tahoe. Maybe the most beautiful place I’ve ever had the pleasure of visiting. Home to Silicon Valley tech giants, great American rock bands of the 20th century, and the undisputed backbone of the global entertainment industry.

Colorado

Speaking of natural beauty! This place is the first I ever experienced real mountains (those things are mighty) and learned about the terrifying existence of runaway truck ramps. Colorado’s got lush forests up north, the Rocky Mountains out west, deserts down south, and great plains in the east. There’s skiing, hiking, hunting, and whatever they do in Denver. Seeing a show at Red Rocks Ampitheater is on the bucket list.

Connecticut

Up here there’s money, New Haven-style pizza, country clubs, boats, tennis, and… Ralph Lauren? I’m not sure. New England stuff. Why isn’t the second “C” pronounced?

Delaware

Tiny state. Capital is Dover. Lots of companies and miscellaneous investment vehicles are incorporated here for some reason I forget. Also, favorited by the Biden family.

Florida

Palm trees, consistenly incredible weather, white sand beaches on two coasts, fucking Disney World, alligators and crocodiles in the Everglades, Cuban sandwiches and latin music in Miami. Fortunate to have been able to spend some time in Naples and Destin when I was a kid. Looking forward to returning.

Georgia

Lots of flights into and out of ATL. Lots of golfers wedging their way out of bunkers in Augusta. Lots of historic houses in Savannah. And as The Presidents of the United States of America once sang…

Movin’ to the country, I’m gonna eat a lot of peaches
I’m movin’ to the country, I’m gonna eat me a lot of peaches

Hawaii

The last but certainly not least US state. Located in the smack middle of the Pacific. Home to volcanoes, tech billionaire bunkers, and Barack Obama. Outrageously beautiful nature (literally sunshine and rainbows). Ugly history. Top five state flags contender.

Idaho

Like the rest of its western neighbors, an absurdly beautiful state. Not many people seem to be aware of that fact. I presume Idahoans want to keep it that way.

Illinois

Home to very handsome and talented bloggers. Come see Chicago in the summertime, you’ll be pleasantly surprised. Admire the architecture, walk the Lakefront, go to the Art Institute, see a Cubs game, and finish the day with an Old Style in a basement tavern. There’s also Peoria for the riverboat gamblers and Champaign-Urbana for the computer science students. Elsewhere: corn fields.

Indiana

More corn fields, basketball, the University of Notre Dame, concerts in Noblesville, the Indy 500, and a small but lovely claim to Lake Michigan. Indiana, that’s all I got for you.

Iowa

Even more corn fields. Home to the world’s largest truck stop. How very Midwestern.

Kansas

I got a parking ticket and borderline food poisoning the last two times I was within state borders. So, I’m not a fan, but I’m sure there’s a greatness to it somewhere. I’d like to give it and the Land of Oz a proper visit sometime. I did enjoy looking at some pretty spectacular roadside ranches last time I drove through.

Kentucky

BOURBON! BLUEGRASS! HORSE RACING! Kentucky’s not bad. I explored Mammoth Cave National Park when I was a kid. Stalactites, stalagmites, and what not. I knew my spelunking career was not meant to be afer that day.

Louisiana

The world’s second greatest boot-shaped region. Napoleon needed to fund his wars so President TJ got a steal on that Louisiana Purchase. I recently learned about the British expulsion of Northeastern French Acadians, their migration to the bayou, and how the term Cajun ultimately came to be. Pretty cool. This state has lots of awesome history and an interesting fusion of culture between Cajun and Creole influences. New Orleans is an incredible city. Best seafood I’ve ever had. As a metropolitan, it was refreshing to see how everyone takes their sweet time going about their days down there.

Maine

What the hell happens in Maine? I’ll be up there soon to find out. I’m expecting lobsters, lighthouses, and an old fisherman in a wooden rowboat wearing a yellow raincoat — with a hook for one hand and a lantern held in the other.

Maryland

Top five state flags contender. Chesapeake Bay seems cool.

Massachusetts

Ranks like a Scandinavian nation on the quality of life leaderboards. An intellectual capital of the US, home to legendary universities like Harvard and MIT. Very interesting early American history. Not fond of taxed tea and witchcraft.

Michigan

Split between the glove and the UP. Glorious claim to endless Great Lakes coastline. Blueberry picking, great universities, and enormous sand dunes. Peak Americana in the summertime. Detroit-style pizza remains my favorite kind of pizza, even as a Chicagoan.

Minnesota

The land of 10,000 lakes. An inconspicuously beautiful state. It’s got ice hockey, lots of snow, and funny accents. The twin cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul are great. I always think of the movie Fargo. I wonder if Minnesotans hate that?

Mississippi

I once drove six hours straight south through this state on a journey from Memphis to New Orleans with a few friends. At one point the right lane was completely occupied by trucks. A line of four or five state troopers were behind us (no sirens), riding our ass while we were nervously increasing our MPH well over the speed limit. After a few minutes of this, we finally spotted and shot a gap to change lanes. Seconds later was ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM as each cruiser ripped by. They were out of eyesight in seconds. Places to be and people to see, I guess.

Missouri

Claim to most of the Ozarks. Great (German) American breweries, incredible historic houses, and a towering manmade steel arch in St. Louis. What else could you want? Kansas City, MO, stills confused me when I see it printed somewhere.

Montana

Need to get out here. Big Sky might be the coolest name for a city I’ve ever heard. This state is so damn big. How does one properly explore it? I assume with lots of time and with lots of gasoline.

Nebraska

Rolling green hills, tallgrass prairies, and cutting edge web development.

Nevada

Home to the debatably glamorous city of Las Vegas. A city that simultaneously feels like the past and the future. I’ve been thrice and still don’t understand how to play craps. Elsewhere: old mob hits surfacing in Lake Mead, freaks and venture capitalists at Burning Man, the marvel of engineering that is the Hoover Dam, and Area 51.

New Hampshire

Live free or die. What a great motto.

New Jersey

The US state with the highest population density. It’s got hoagies and Italian subs, The Sopranos, plus some kind of devil creature haunting its inhabitants. Also, Newark sounds way too much like New York. And these two places are located right next to each other. How is that allowed?

New Mexico

An elaborate production set created to film Breaking Bad. Smaller than Old Mexico. Strong candidate for the best US state flag. My little brother spent some time out here doing an aerospace engineering internship in the desert. Sort of like Oppenheimer at Los Alamos, right? Something something, Pueblos, chile peppers, scorpions.

New York

NYC is the beating heart of the western world. The metro alone has a GDP larger than Canada and on par with Brazil and Italy. Its history is iconic: mass immigration at Ellis Island in the 1910s, the birth of the Broadway musical in the ’20s, Art Deco in the ’30s, the Mafia at the height of its power in the ’40s, Harlem Jazz clubs making waves in the ’50s, Dylan and the Beats in ’60s Greenwich Village, nightclub disco dancing in the ’70s, pandemonium on ’80s Wall Street, and most importantly, Seinfeld in the ’90s. NYC aside, I hear the Adirondacks upstate are beautiful. I’ll be stopping by Buffalo shortly. Excited to try some original buffalo wings!

North Carolina

NC boasts the Great Smoky Mountains, The Blue Ridge Parkway, the charming city of Asheville, and a sneaky tech hub in the Raleigh-Durham metro. I don’t know much more, but North Carolina does sound like a nice place to live.

North Dakota

Recently met a father and son duo from Fargo at a Phish concert. They were cool guys.

Ohio

I’ve been procastinating writing about Ohio. This is the very last state I need to write about to finish the article. So, I’ve decided I have nothing to say about Ohio.

Oklahoma

Home to rich Native American history, oil drilling rigs, and a few crop circle hotspots. I’m deathly afraid of tornadoes, so I won’t be visiting anytime soon. You all enjoy the baseball, hot dogs, apple pie, and Chevrolet in the meantime.

Oregon

Another obnoxiously beautiful state. There’s a big meteor crater somewhere out there. Weird things going on in Portland. Home to Ken Kesey. Would like to see what this place is all about someday. Is it pronounced Oregon or Oregon?

Pennsylvania

I found a tweet that summed this one up for me:

By the way, Jack there runs a great Twitter account for any fellow architecture enjoyers.

Rhode Island

Newport, mansions, and old-fashioned maritime things. Not a real island! Doomed to forever be the smallest state for this dishonesty. I remember I stayed the night in an ancient hotel here once upon a time. The ceilings were so low I had to duck at all times.

South Carolina

Another contender for top five state flags. Claim to many glorious Atlantic beaches and the beautiful city of Charleston. Visited once. I do recommend.

South Dakota

The Badlands, Mt. Rushmore, Crazy Horse, General Custer, and The Battle of Little Bighorn (I’ve been informed this actually went down in Montana)! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve mistakenly answered Sioux Falls as the state capital at Thursday night trivia (it’ll happen again). It’s Pierre, FYI.

Tennessee

This state is home to the largest pyramid in North America (it’s a Bass Pro Shop). I’m ashamed to say and you’re probably unsurprised to hear my visits to Tennessee consist solely of Nashville trips. I really like the name of the city Chattanooga.

Texas

The Lone Star State. Proud people! I’ve never been to Texas and I’m sure my understanding of it is some kind of Hollywood movie cliché Frankenstein. What I am certain about is it’s hot, they drill oil, launch rockets, ranch cattle, wrangle bulls, and have some really BIG cities. I’m willing to bet the nature’s pretty and the Tex-Mex and BBQ dishes are tasty too.

Utah

Yet another beautiful state. I’m lucky to have spent a decent chunk of time here. The Utahn (what a great denonym) National Parks have never failed to blow my mind. This place looks like Mars. Salt Lake City is incredibly cool. Sundance Film Festival at Park City is on the bucket list. Man, I need to learn how to ski.

Vermont

Outsourcing to Twitter once again:

Virginia

Admittedley, my knowledge of Virginia is weak. All I know is George Washington is from here and tobacco is a big agricultural export. Very American!

Washington

Had the pleasure of visiting this state on a pilgrimage to The Gorge a few years ago. Everyone here works for either Amazon or Microsoft. Seattle is a whimsical city (these freaks put cream cheese on their hot dogs) and the state only gets better as you drive out east. Returning to check out the Pacific Coast, Olympic, North Cascades, and Mt. Rainier is a priority. Washingtonians, please let me know what else I shouldn’t miss.

West Virginia

The heart of Appalachia. Known for its coal mining industry (great spot to start your Minecraft world) and an all-time PR assist from John Denver. How did these guys get stuck being called West Virginia? That’s not very fair. I might as well be from West Indiana. This state reminds me of watching a young Jake Gyllenhaal launch homemade rockets against his father’s wishes on one of those classroom TVs with wheels.

Wisconsin

A national treasure. Lake Michigan and Lake Superior shoreline, incredible inland lakes, unrivaled dairy supremacy, New Glarus, and the great city of Milkwaukee. Also home to the coziest wood-paneled bars you’ll ever enjoy a beverage in (there’s a Golden Tee machine in the back corner).

Wyoming

President of the prestigious 90 degree borders club. Lowest population density in the contiguous US. Home to snowcapped mountains, rivers ripe for fly fishing, bison, elk, rattlesnakes, moose, bears, wolves, antelope, mountain lions, cowboys, hobbits, dwarves, elves, Dick Cheney, and the imaginary city of Jackson Hole.

…

Thanks for reading. This was a fun writeup. DC, Samoa, Guam, Northern Mariana, Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands, I’m sorry for excluding you. Perhaps next time I’ll spend some time thinking about parts of the world I’m less familiar with. Maybe I should express my thoughts on which Balkan country is best?

—JT