Tamil cinema actress Khushboo Sundar opens up about the Hema Commission report and her traumatic experience of abuse.

This moment of #MeToo in our industry breaks you. Kudos to the women who stood their ground and emerged victorious. The #HemaComité was sorely needed to break the abuse.

But will that happen?

Abuse, solicitation of sexual favors, and the expectation that women compromise to gain a foothold or advance their careers are common in every field. Why is a woman expected to go through the grind alone? While men experience it too, it is women who bear the brunt, relatively speaking.

What is the solution?

I had a long talk with my 24 and 21 year old daughters about this topic. I was amazed at their empathy and understanding for the victims. They support them strongly and are standing by them at this moment. It doesn’t matter if you speak today or tomorrow, just speak. Speaking directly would help in healing and more effective investigation.

But is there also the fear of being shamed?

The fear of shaming, victim blaming, and questions like “Why did you do it?” or “What made you do it?” are breaking her. The victim may be a stranger to you or me, but she needs our support, a listening ear, and emotional support from all of us. When we wonder why she didn’t come out sooner, we need to consider her circumstances: not everyone has the privilege of speaking out.

How deeply do the current confessions of sexual exploitation in the film industry affect you as a woman, mother and victim of abuse?

As women and mothers, the wounds inflicted by such violence cut deep, not only in the flesh but in the soul. These atrocities shake the foundations of our trust, our love, and our strength. Behind every mother is a will to nurture and protect, and when that sanctity is broken, it affects us all.

As a victim of abuse, it must have been very courageous to talk about it?

Some people ask me why I waited so long to talk about my father’s abuse. I agree that I should have spoken sooner. But what happened to me was not a compromise to build my career. I was abused by the person who should have given me the strongest arms to hold me if I fell.

What is your message to men who are close to women who are victims of sexual abuse?

To all the men out there, I implore you to stand with the victim and show your unwavering support. Every man was born of a woman who endured incredible pain and sacrifice. Many women play an indispensable role in raising you and shaping you into the people you are today: your mothers, sisters, aunts, teachers, and friends. Your solidarity can be a beacon of hope, a symbol that justice and kindness will prevail. Stand with us, protect us, and honor the women who gave you life and love. Let your voices be heard in the fight against violence and let your actions reflect the respect and empathy that every woman deserves. Remember, we are stronger together, and only together can we heal these wounds and pave the way for a safer, more compassionate world.

Are there still many women who do not want to talk about their exploitation?

Let us understand that many women do not even have the support of their families. They come from small towns with stars in their eyes, hoping to shine brightly, but often see their dreams nipped in the bud and crushed. This should be a wake-up call to EVERYONE. Let the exploitation stop here. Women, come out and speak up. Remember that you always have a choice in life. Your NO is an absolute NO. Never compromise or compromise your dignity and respectability. EVER. I stand with all the women who have been through this. As a mother and as a woman.

Do you think the current focus on abuse in the Malayalam film industry is just the beginning?

We are focusing on cinema. Sexual advances, abuse and indecent propositions happen in every industry. A woman experiences this every day. On a bus, on a train, in a queue, everywhere. Cinema is looked at through a magnifying glass. Do not crucify cinema. There are a few incidents that absolutely need to be addressed and the mess cleaned up. Every industry where a woman works should have a committee where women can complain and justice is done. But cases need to be investigated thoroughly. Cinema is the most beautiful industry and the safest place to be. I have worked with the most wonderful men who made sure they protected me.