‘Real Housewives of Salt Lake City’ Premiere Is Flawless TV – DNyuz

The best show on TV is back. After an explosive Season 4 finale shattered all expectations of reality TV and exploded The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City As we’ve known it, the modern soap opera has continued to climb its icy slope, crowning itself the best of Bravo’s many offerings. It’s such a good premiere, one that nails the desperate narrative that the show needs Monica Garcia to survive.

The ladies of RHOSLC have something much more relevant in their arsenal: bath bombs. The Season 5 premiere leans all in on the weirdness, without the ridiculously childish editing, to immerse the audience in the bizarre world of couture fur, unconventional theme parties and incomprehensible drama. It feels like coming home.

In a first in Real Housewives history, the premiere will take place entirely at one event. Well, that is, with the exception of flashback scenes that are used to contextualize all the drama. RHOSLC is a very unique Housewives show in that it plays more like a scripted drama than a docuseries. There’s no better editing team at Bravo, as evidenced by the expert editing that opens the episode. Nothing tops the haunting choral music that plays over pseudo-intellectual quotes like “we choose to share what most try to hide—and then we wait for the world to comment” as the ladies walk through their bare homes.

It’s such a relief that RHOSLC has continued to embrace its choral music, while other franchises have focused on it Sell ​​sunset-inspired lyrical music. And it’s an even bigger relief that the show has returned with the total chaos of Lisa Barlow’s Besos Party.

Lisa, who is historically the kindest housewife with a heart of gold, invites every lady to the event – even Whitney, who is a filthy liar and a horrible person! Whitney went on Nick Viall’s podcast, after all. Just disgusting. Even worse, she said that Lisa “has always been the bad guy.” Okay, apparently saying horrible things about your so-called best friend, calling Heather a Lego figure, and saying Monica deserves an abusive mother is now considered “bad guy” behavior. Women can’t get any more nuanced.

Unless you’re Mary Cosby, who’s back full-time with a new best friend: Angie K. Her alleged cult is about to expand all the way to the Mediterranean, where she’s offering pita in lieu of holy bread. Mary’s return comes after she skipped the Season 2 reunion and stopped filming midway through last season. This time around, she’s committed to finishing an entire season without hiding in her closet.

The event is also a chance for all potential newcomers to audition for a snowflake. But there can only be one America’s Next Top Housewife: Bronwyn Newport. A woman whose clothes resemble the Roblox Dress to Impress designs of an eager 12-year-old, Bronwyn makes her presence felt right away with a bombastic outfit and an even bigger personality.

Her actual introduction scene is relegated to a flashback, in which she dons a cheetah-print two-piece with a huge coat and matching boots. She didn’t put all that on and end up on the cutting room floor. Bronwyn has the unsettling energy of a woman hiding absolutely horrible secrets behind her enormous smile, and it’s going to be so exciting to peel back those layers.

Newbie #2 arrives with Whitney, whose “hilling” adventure has hit a bump in the road as she and Lisa hit the rocks. Luckily, she’s got Meili, a woman who doesn’t do anything in the premiere. But she’s gorgeous! As for Whitney, she’s back with a bob—and she means business. Unfortunately for her, that business involves bath bombs, a huge no-go when everyone knows baths are Meredith’s brand.

“It’s an attack on me,” Meredith tells Heather in a flashback after the surgery, after she undergoes a third breast reduction due to her growing breasts.

During the event, Meredith and Whitney attempt to make conversation despite their language differences. Meredith’s “warm and fuzzy” reunion was to launch a bath product, and here comes Whitney to “hill” with some bath products? Dubious. Apparently, Whitney has been selling bath bombs for years. No one knew. A quick visit to Whitney’s Wild Rose website shows those “favorite” bath bombs front and center. Only $18.95 to make Meredith Marks mad!

Angie K.—who will legally remain that way for the rest of time, even though she has grabbed center snowflake—hijacks the moment to demand an apology from Meredith for insinuating that she is a member of the Greek mafia whose businesses exist as money laundering schemes. She produces a scroll to demand said apology, continuing her ascension as a so-flop-it’s-not-Greek goddess.

The third and final newbie comes in via Heather. Britani is a failed Hallmark actress who occasionally dates an Osmond (allegedly Mormon royalty!), and she can’t help but say all the wrong things. Why doesn’t this demon have a snowflake?

Britani immediately starts off on the wrong foot with Mary and Bronwyn by complimenting their “costumes”. Mary reacts as if she has been shot and decides that she hates Britani now and forever. Britani’s only hope is to donate her savings to Mary’s church and pray at the altar of her Lord and savior. She is also disgusted with Mary for “growing up poor” and putting bread in her purse.

“She had to do that the other day, because when you’re little you don’t have a bag,” Mary deduces in a confessional. It’s… not a bad point.

Britani is a certified diva with a license to kill. She’s said to be hitting it off with Ramona Singer, who once stuffed an entire seafood stew in her purse. Sorry Bronwyn, you’re cute and all, but your snowflake looks awfully melted next to this queen. Um, who am I kidding. Bronwyn is an ex-Mormon with an elderly husband and a ticking-time-bomb fake-positive personality. She’s probably a star too.

Now that the introductions are out of the way, Lisa gathers the ladies together to remind them of the power of friendship, just before she presents Whitney’s murder at dinner. Lisa likes friendship. She doesn’t like podcasts. And when she inevitably starts the Baby Gorgeous podcast in two years and then shuts it down after 18 episodes, it’ll be a joke.

During dinner, Meredith and Angie K. continue to gag each other with disgusting stabs, a reminder that every RHOSLC feud is best viewed through the lens of cheering for no one and everyone at the same time. These two shine in a realm far beyond the average human.

Whitney then turns to Lisa, picking up on the subtle hints Lisa dropped during the event: “I feel like you have a problem with me and a podcast.” Whitney is so wise.

She then calls Lisa “self-centered,” to which Lisa responds, “I think when you learn how to take care of yourself, you’ll understand that people who love themselves take care of themselves. That’s part of self-love. And with your healing journey, you’d think you’d know that by now.”

This premiere is full of quotes. Each of these women gave Bravo so many great texts to put on the side of a $40 mug.

What Whitney really wants to know, however, is what she said wrong. Lisa, the master of distraction, instead asks, Who told you I was mad? Lisa had only shared her frustrations with Angie and Heather, and she discovers that it was Mrs. K in the show house in a puffer jacket who spilled the beans. She figures this out with the help of Heather, who reveals that she didn’t say anything, prompting Lisa to put Angie on a spit and roast her like a traditional gyro.

Lisa immediately turns on her minion, telling her to “zip it.” Then, in a fit of rage, Lisa throws a candle into the corner and yells, “You want me to be your villain? I’ll be your villain.” Lisa gets help in destroying Whitney when Heather and Meredith list all the ways Whitney has lied over the years—a response to Whitney claiming she’s never lied—and create a manifesto of every time Whitney flew too close to the sun.

The simple reality is that any housewife who says she “never lies” is a liar, just as any housewife who swears on the lives of her children is a liar. The chickens are all coming home to roost now, with no Jen and Monica to distract Whitney from throwing little bath bombs and then hiding.

It’s a great progression for Whitney’s role, finally putting her in the hot seat in a way she’s never been in before. The trio of terror that is Meredith, Lisa, and Heather has the potential to be the most vile group of women ever seen on TV. Yay!

The episode ends with the group in ruins, Angie siding with Whitney and leaving with Mrs. Bob, while “Lisa Barlow has a paid partnership with Wendy’s” flashes at the bottom of the screen.

If you ever thought The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City would take a dip after such a meteoric high, rest assured, these ladies are too crazy to slow down the drama. This premiere is such a triumphal march, laughing in the face of the many people who doubted the show’s immense prowess.

Maybe the Emmy voting committee will finally consider RHOSLC worth it next year. These are the same people who The BearIt’s a comedy, so we can’t expect too much from it.

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