‘Done keeping it a secret’: Sarnia woman speaks out about stepfather’s sexual abuse

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Editor’s note: The story contains details of sexual abuse that may be disturbing to some readers.

SARNIA – For more than a decade, Hope Jordan felt like she had duct tape over her mouth.

Amid the fear of tearing her family apart and pressure from her mother to keep her mouth shut, Jordan felt like she couldn’t talk about the years of sexual abuse she suffered at the hands of her stepfather, Ric Lahey, who had recently been sentenced to seven years in prison. .

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But the tape is now ripped off.

‘I’m done keeping it a secret. I want to be able to tell my story and I want other people to be informed because I believe others should know when a predator is living near them,” Jordan said.

Jordan, 24, was abused from the age of 9 until she was in high school, according to an agreed statement of facts filed with the court. She turned herself into Sarnia police in the fall of 2022, and Lahey, a Sarnia resident who worked in Chemical Valley, turned herself in the following summer.

Lahey, 49, pleaded guilty at the end of May to invitation to sexual touching, sexual exploitation and two counts of sexual assault. His sentencing was September 18.

Little could be reported on the case in May because a publication ban protected Jordan’s identity, which is standard practice in most sexual assault cases in Ontario.

Postmedia also does not identify sex crime victims in most cases as a matter of policy.

But at the end of Lahey’s sentencing hearing just over two weeks ago, Assistant Crown Attorney Aniko Coughlan asked Judge Mark Poland to lift the publication ban.

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Jordan explained in an interview that she asked Coughlan to lift the ban and although she was given more time to think about it and seek the services of a lawyer, she persisted.

Jordan struggled with her mental health for years as a result of the abuse, but is now doing better with the help of her doctors and counselors. She says she wants her story to be heard.

‘There are also so many girls who simply don’t know that a better life exists. There is help and there are people who do care,” she said. “Because I know that for so long I felt so alone and like I had no one, and that’s not true.”

The court heard the abuse started more than a decade ago when the family lived in Newfoundland. Jordan, 9, was having trouble falling asleep one night when Lahey came into her room, pulled the covers aside and kissed her in an inappropriate place.

The abuse progressed from there as the family moved to different homes in Newfoundland, London and Sarnia and included sexual touching and oral sex.

“I froze,” Jordan recalled. “You would think I would kick, scream, bite, throw punches – I just froze. I think I was so shocked I couldn’t move a muscle.”

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The abuse came to light about a decade ago when Jordan told friends at a London primary school what was going on and social workers and the Children’s Aid Society became involved. But she did not go to the police because she did not want to cause harm to the family, the court heard.

Jordan’s mother, Mel Lahey, was a big reason why she didn’t tell police, she said.

The family later moved to a caravan park near London, but one day Jordan refused to come home. She couch surfed and lived on the streets for a while until returning to Newfoundland with her family.

After being away for a few years, she was convinced to move back in with her mother and stepfather in their new home in Sarnia. Lahey tearfully apologized for what happened in the past and they agreed to put it behind them, the court heard.

Jordan says she actually believed him when he first apologized. “He’s a very good liar and manipulator,” she said.

But the abuse started again in Sarnia, including in their garage after a night of drinking and in a car in a Sarnia LCBO parking lot while Jordan’s boyfriend was at the store, court heard.

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She told him to stop because she had a boyfriend and what happened was weird.

“Thanks for not telling your mother,” Lahey said, according to the agreed statement of facts.

Shortly after, she went to Sarnia police.

In court, Jordan spent nearly 20 minutes reading an emotional victim impact statement detailing how the sexual abuse and the consequences of her mother choosing Lahey over her affected her. She struggles with eating disorders, alcoholism and thoughts of suicide, she said.

Jordan concluded with a poem.

“You are a very impressive writer, both in your poem and in your prose. I was completely impressed with the victim impact statement. It is without a doubt one of the best I have seen in this court in over twenty years,” the judge told her.

When given the opportunity to address the court, Lahey briefly apologized to her.

“That apology was so fake,” Jordan said. “I’ve heard him apologize before. That was the most empty, false apology I have ever heard from him in my life.

Lahey’s attorney, Jamie Guggisberg, said his client was abused as a child by a babysitter and an uncle — not an excuse, but context.

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“Well, I don’t do things with kids,” Jordan said. “I think that’s disgusting and instead I’m in therapy learning to love and care for myself again because I never did.”

The judge in Poland told the court it was appalling that Lahey continued to sexually abuse Jordan for years after the abuse first came to light in London.

“It speaks to Mr. Lahey’s moral bankruptcy in victimizing this child,” he said.

Poland placed Lahey on the national sex offenders register for life because he was at increased risk of reoffending, he ruled. When he is released from prison, he will not be allowed to be near places where children under the age of 16 may be, such as parks, playgrounds, swimming pools and daycare centers. He is also not allowed to be within two kilometers of Jordan.

While her stepfather is in prison, Jordan hopes he gets the therapy he needs and can be reformed, although she doubts this will happen.

As for herself, Jordan said for the first time that she feels like she is starting to live her life, and that she is free.

“My mouth is no longer covered in duct tape,” she said.

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